Mommy is mine! The children's fight over the mother's 'property'

Mommy is mine! The children's fight over the mother's 'property'

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There are stages in a child's development when they want their mother to be alone with them. They are so attached to her that they want to be continuously by her side, in her arms, enjoying her pampering and without sharing them.

For the little ones, the mother is their whole world and they need her for everything. Before becoming more independent, when they still do not have the necessary capacities and abilities to move around the environment, they need their attachment figure and see it as their "property", so much so that they often fight over their mother's property at the voice of ... "Mommy is mine."

“Monopolizing” his mother is a behavior that almost all children go through at different evolutionary stages and it usually occurs because the little one feels insecurities before the world that is presented to him. They need security and only their mother can provide it. The different stages in which this type of behavior can appear will be:

- Before the year. It usually occurs before the child is one year old. More specifically about 9 months.

- Between 1 year and 2 years. Can occur That the most critical moment of this type of behavior appears at this moment.

- Between 4 or 5 years. Children can go through the phase known as "the Oedipus complex" in which children go through a kind of infatuation with the mother and just want to be with them without letting anyone get close.

Not wanting to share the mother's love with her siblings or other relatives is very normal. Thanks to the contact that exists between the mother and the child when he is still very young, he makes the foundations of his emotional development settle. In addition, this contact with the mother guarantees her survival, safety and high self-esteem that will be essential in the future.

It is not possible to determine how long this phase can last in which the child believes that the mother is his exclusive “property”. The duration of this stage can remain in a simple temporary crisis or that prevails throughout childhood.

Its duration will depend a lot on the personality of the child, the relationship he has with his parents and how they act in this situation. Parental intervention is crucial so that this type of behavior is not a difficult situation to deal with. For example, if jealousy and fights appear between siblings due to this behavior, it should be avoided that it lasts over time.

It will not be easy to manage this behavior, nor the changes in the way of being of the children that it causes, nor the suffering that these changes cause, so parents should try, first, not to be anxious. What's more:

- Parents should consider that this stage it is something temporary and normal in its development.

- Have patience. The child who behaves in this way is due to insecurities and because they still feel dependence on the mother. It is a behavior that will cease over time.

- Understand the child. Family members and the environment must accept the child's feelings and respect him in his fair measure.

- Take the little one seriously. Many adults find this behavior funny and even make fun of it. It is a serious subject although it is fun and the environment has to be aware of it.

- Give everyone time. The mother must be aware that in order to avoid jealous fights between siblings, she must try to spend the same time with all the children.

- Share activities. It will be positive that progressively the child and the mother can share activities with other members of the family.

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