The 8 emotional wounds that will remain in your child forever

The 8 emotional wounds that will remain in your child forever

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We all have emotional scars, even if we try to hide them. It's funny how the wounds that persist the most over time are not physical wounds. We care little about that scar on our knee from the day we fell off our bike. It hurts more and for longer, that word from our mother or our father that sank into our hearts, forever.

These are the so-called emotional wounds, those subtle, invisible wounds that nevertheless leave a terrible punishment and that last forever into our adulthood. Find out what are the 8 emotional wounds that remain in your child when he grows up.

We try to be the best parents, there is no doubt about that. And each one tries in the best possible way. We all know that the best education of children must come through love. That we must not forget to establish a series of rules and limits and that, although it hurts us, we must use No on many occasions in the face of many of our children's requests.

But we all make mistakes, and in some cases, they are mistakes whose wound leaves a huge scar on our children. But since it is not seen, we are not really aware of it. Let's try to avoid all these emotional wounds as much as possible to avoid the greatest number of future scars in our children:

1 - The humiliation
Every time you say to your child things like 'Don't be so clumsy!' or 'But look, you're bad!', you're humiliating him. A child humiliated by his parents will grow up with a terrible wound in his self-esteem. If the people you love the most, in whom you trust, constantly reproach you for what you do not do well, your small mistakes, your inability to do certain things ... or highlight any small defect you may have, you will be forever undermining the confidence of the child in himself.

When he grows up he will be terribly shy you will feel inferior to others, or on the contrary, he will try to do the same as his parents did to him, constantly making others the focus of ridicule, drawing attention through inappropriate behavior or trying to 'camouflage' his low self-esteem under a false mask of arrogance and tyranny towards others.

2 - Absence of parents
There is no more bleak feeling for a child than feeling abandoned. When he feels that his parents are not there, he feels 'abandoned'. This creates a void and a series of fears with which he will have to fight for the rest of his life.

Many of the children who did not feel loved when they were little, who felt abandoned by their parents, spend their time, during their adulthood, seeking strong emotions, risky activities ... while rejecting affection and physical contact. What's more, will have trouble establishing stable relationships and lasting jobs or projects.

3 - Injustice
We know that justice is something that changes in children according to their age. Thus, while for a very young child as young as 3 years old, anything other than meeting his needs and desires is 'unfair', for a child of about 8 years old, it is much more unfair for him to receive a punishment for something he did or he did not and that his brother does not receive it for an evil that he considers 'similar'. But, beyond those perceptions of children, there are fair or unfair facts.

For example, frequently giving gifts to one of the siblings and not the other, treating the children differently, having a preference for one of the children and making the rest notice ... The feeling of injustice will make your child, when I grow up, try to be as rigid as possible with everyone: someone authoritarian, terribly perfectionist and demanding with himself and with others. Very little given to the sense of humor, he will be an adult above all, rational. You will have trouble channeling your emotions.

4 - The betrayal of his parents
For a child, the betrayal of his parents is without a doubt the most painful. Sometimes it happens to us, as parents, that we throw promises into the air, without giving it too much importance. Then we do not fulfill them. It will seem silly to us, but for children this will have a terrible consequence. For them it means that you cannot trust your parents, because they have let you down.

The promises are kept. If your child is constantly feeling let down by his parents, he'll grow up feeling like he can't trust anyone. Therefore, it will become a terribly controlling adult, leave absolutely nothing to the mercy of improvisation. Controlling and perfectionist, he will end up being very demanding of others. You will be unable to delegate responsibilities and of course, you will constantly flee from loneliness.

5 - Feeling rejected
Rejection, like humiliation, is a real drain on self-esteem. If a father constantly talks about his child as 'a hindrance', or makes him believe 'that he is not the child he expected', the child will end up believing that he really is a hindrance. When the child feels that his parents 'don't like him the way he is' for anything, he will feel rejected. As an adult, you will have great difficulty expressing your emotions. Constant fear of rejection will make you an adult unable to establish stable personal relationships. He will prefer solitude.

6 - Override children's emotions
That 'Don't cry over nonsense' or the 'Nothing to get angry over tontunas' do more harm to your child than you imagine. The rejection of emotions completely disrupts emotional intelligence in childhood. If you forbid the child to cry, feel anger or fear, you are canceling their basic emotions.

When he is older, he will be unable to manage his emotions because he did not learn to do it as a child, and he will appear as a cold and terribly rational adult, or on the contrary, by not being able to control his emotions, he may transform in an overly impulsive adult, unable to control their moments of euphoria, panic or anger,

7 - Take away childhood
Some parents demand adult responsibilities from children. Those children who work at the age of 8, or those who must take care of their siblings while they are still children, children who are required to always get the best grades, who are punished if they are not able to get the best score in everything they do ...

Feeling adult responsibilities or too great pressure from their parents makes them mature before their time and deprives them of a childhood that they will never get back. This generates a frustration that, already during the adult stage, will transform in lack of confidence in themselves and in some cases, disappointment with life.

8 - Lack of affection. Very similar to the feeling of absence from parents, when a child is not given enough affection, it experiences some delay in growth, both physically and emotionally. When he is older, he will have many problems relating to others, because he will be unable to show his emotions. The lack of affection of the parents cancels in the child the feeling of affection towards others, of empathy and compassion.

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Video: Healing Emotional Childhood Neglect and Learning to Integrate with Your Inner Child (August 2022).