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Giving children space does not mean letting them do whatever they want

Giving children space does not mean letting them do whatever they want


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Giving children space is necessary. This means giving them privacy, but also autonomy and independence, something basic for the proper development of children. The question is how much space, how to do it, when to do it and how to manage it. And it is that we must bear in mind that Giving children space does not mean letting them do whatever they want.

Children need your privacy and this tends to show itself especially during puberty and adolescence. It is in these stages that children can claim their space most intensely.

As children grow older, children's dependence on parents gradually disappears, or rather changes. It's not that they no longer need them, but that they don't need them for everything. They want to do things alone, they no longer demand everything from them, and this is good. It is a sign that they are autonomous and that they trust themselves, so giving them independence little by little is necessary.

And giving them a certain autonomy goes through giving them their own spaces. This does not mean letting them do what they want when they want. It is not about being permissive, but understanding with their needs, educating them both in responsibility and in knowing how to make decisions.

An age is coming when our children claim their own spaces and demand freedom. An example of this is their room, which they spend more and more time in it. They also ask us to keep our distance when they are with their friends. This is normal as they are entering a stage where their privacy is very valuable. And we must give it to him.

But children must also understand that there has to be some control; that there are certain rules, responsibilities and limits that they have to respect and to comply with. That is, the more responsible you show me that you are, the more space and more freedom I can give you.

Giving children space can be reflected in different areas of day-to-day life: from a physical space at home, to a virtual space on social or personal networks. We analyze each of them.

1. You have to leave their own space at home
First of all, we can leave their space at home. Your room is your space and also your responsibility. We will knock on the door when we go to enter, they must have the possibility to choose how they want to decorate it (we have all filled the walls with posters of our favorite artists), but they also have to know that it is their responsibility and they must commit, for example, to keep it in condition, (neat, clean ...)

2. Monitor its use on social networks
Something that now worries parents a lot is the use of technologies and social networks. On many occasions, parents do not know what their children are watching, who they are talking to, what networks they operate or how they work. Although they can make use of them, it will be the task of the parents to educate their children in the proper use of mobile phones, the internet and the networks, and to know what will happen if they are misused.

Here it is advisable that, for example, computers with internet access are in common places, establish parental controls, not give them their own mobile phone too soon ...

3. You always have to respect their privacy
You have to respect their privacy and, for example, avoid talking about their affairs in front of other people. We will have to try not to tell certain things in public that affect the privacy of our children and that may make them feel uncomfortable.

4. Let them make decisions
Giving them space also means letting them make their own decisions and choices, and teaching them to be responsible for their consequences.

As we said before, leaving them their space is not being permissive and letting them do what they want as they want. Giving them space is being understanding of their needs, is to educate them to be autonomous, responsible and independent. But always establishing clear limits and rules.

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